Stir from the bottom

There is an old saying that “sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can never hurt you.” To the contrary, hurt feelings are worse than physical pain. In the words of Maya Angelou: “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” The emotions we experience when we hear words, or what someone has said to us, acts like a highliter marker going over and making somethings stand out all the more in our heads. For example we could have all the best intentions in the world to remember something our boss, husband, pastor, or professor said but if we are bored or not fully engaged with our emotions it’s sure to slip in one ear and out the other. Equally weird and annoying is that it’s the negative words and experiences that we have that seem to stick to our ribs like Mommas meatloaf. They say it takes 10 good experiences to erase 1 bad one. Someone could tell you 8000 times that you are beautiful, smart, and talented but for some reason that one creep who told you that you weren’t and made you feel like crapsauce, lingers in the air like burnt Indian food. So I think that 10-1 statistic is bogus. I think that only until you start to believe that you are worthy of being seen as beautiful, smart, and talented will you then start to believe that you are. No amount of words will ever take that away once you put that confidence on. So, this one creep, recently told me something that was reeeeaaallllyyyyy trying to attach itself to me. This respected guy who’s purpose in the circle I was in at the time was to build up and encourage, must have left his brain asleep at home that day. He told me that, “I was the bottom of the barrel.” The bottom of the barrel. As in, my thoughts, opinions, and feelings didn’t matter because I was unimportant. The scraps at the bottom of the barrel. Talk about tearing a girl down. Then I remembered something from my childhood. Something that was passed down through the generations in my family. My great grandma was known for making the best vegetable soup, probably in the world. She would make enough to feed the whole town in this giant silver army pot that would take up 3 burners of her stove. While it was simmering she would periodically check it and give it a good stir. Always reminding us to, “stir from the bottom.” Stir from the bottom she would say and you know why? Because all of the best stuff is down there.